by Jim Danger 8/2,3/15

GG Allin was like a scientific experiment in real life. What if there was a guy who absolutely refused to observe rules, laws, of any kind; who insisted on “going too far”, every time out? He freely admitted that he couldn’t help himself, couldn’t hold back, couldn’t stay within any “reasonable” guidelines, even when his own band depended on his ability to “not go too far.”

I think that a lot of the fascination with GG Allin is based on the fact of his being a spectacle – the guy in the experiment, the singular “what if” specimen, who is probably the only case we’re going to see, of a person acknowledging NO bounds.

Is GG Allin to be a hero because of his refusal – his inability – to obey any rules?

This question itself contains questions. He clearly could, at times, obey rules. When on television talk shows, for example, he would usually guard his language, carefully avoiding a lot of offensive words that must have come to mind at such times. “You’re following a false Bible,” he declared on the Jane Whitney show in New York, a day or two before his death, “I wipe my a- [pause] – butt with it!” This always interested me, the quick-change choice of words, there, carefully altered the fit the TV audience. He could control himself, at times. He also declared on a TV show that he would rather be naked, “if they’d let me.” He had to follow certain guidelines, or not be on TV. He was not “totally out of control.”

The main question at hand here is: Is GG Allin is to be admired, considered a hero, for the way he lived? Certainly, some do revere him for his pedal-to-the-metal, headlong dive into destruction. Why is that? I still think it’s the spectacle factor, and the vicarious participation in his ardent “fuck you” to any and all rules, that is the key to his appeal. He puts on the best show, in the estimation of his select, particular fans. It’s also the fact that he is apparently not putting on a show, in the show-biz, commercial sense, but that he is soul-level serious about his “mission” to destroy all rules, all fashion, in rock’n’roll music – and in his life. Nothing will be denied him, and he can and will do anything he wants, and nobody will tell him otherwise – and he will never stop this rebellion. Certainly seems like an appealing life, to some, and fans cheer him on in that endeavor – even years after his ignominious death.

One of the most outstanding traits that GG Allin possessed was his ability to turn a negative into a positive, by a magical twist in perception – his own perception, and in many cases, that of those around him, as well. If an obstacle or unfortunate circumstance arose, and was unavoidable, instead of complaining about it or fighting it, GG would find a way to make it work for him. His whole life, it seems, was an ongoing cycle of unfortunate circumstances, which GG did his best to turn into positives., to use – somehow – as steppingstones. He refused to be beaten – this one thing can truly be said of him. Even if he was beaten, his way of viewing it would never allow for that, and those who idolize him will take his view. GG was never beaten, never took no for an answer, never took shit from anyone, but lived “his way” every second of his life. So goes the deifying legend.

GG could not have been any different from the way GG was. This is true of you and me, as well. We do stuff we do ’cause that’s what we do. It’s largely based in both genetics and environment, with personal variables thrown in for spontaneity’s sake. {“Personal variables” – eg., twins brought up in the same environment, may have sharply varied personalities, tastes, perspectives, etc..} You can’t help being who you are, and attempts to alter ourselves from our natural inclinations can only lead to confusion – for there’s only one of us, and we’re it.

GG was unusual. This is what makes him fascinating, to many. You don’t see many cases of a person like this. In fact, most of us can’t think of any other case like this. The things that he was driven to do were somewhat unusual, but the fact that he was a rock’n’rolling lunatic along these lines, the fact that he delighted in and succeeded in exhibiting his unusual behavior onstage, with an audience, while a band accompanied him, was just too remarkable to not pay some attention to. Again, it’s the spectacle of GG Allin, and people’s fascination with that mind-boggling oddity, the very edgy freak show, that continues to gain GG Allin the attention of many people, the world over.

I’m just going to jump to my conclusion here, and continue to elaborate on it afterwards: GG was a sick, twisted, out-of-control sociopath, most destructive to himself but savagely destructive to others as well, were they unfortunate enough or foolish enough to be in his presence. He was – during the majority of his adulthood – an extreme drunk, a coke-head, a speed freak and a junkie, whose drug and alcohol consumption led to extremes in behavior, as it does for even the most garden-variety drunk & drug addict. He was wildly maladjusted, psychologically and emotionally. Causes of such maladjustments are not hard to find, given what was apparently his upbringing.

GG, within his own limitations, tried to conform, but could not. He has said something about “no matter what I did”, he just “did not fit in”. He was driven to be an outcast, at least in his own perception, by the majority, who indeed were not like him in most regards; so, again, given his savage upbringing. GG couldn’t help being GG. In his real attempts to “get along”, he even agreed to see a psychiatrist, during his marriage, when he was in his mid-20s. The doctor he saw may well have been a simpleton, but in any case, GG was simply angered by the “shrink”, and went away all the more determined to go his own way, no matter what anyone else thought. Again, had he a choice? No; yet he knew how to take a negative and turn it into what he could call a positive. He decided to celebrate being GG Allin, Out Of Control, Unmanageable & Ever-Outcast, to be proud of this status, as though he had chosen it out of sheer courage! I dare say that many of his fans believe this of him; they believe that he could have conformed like anyone else, but that he refused, out of sheer, willful courage, to do so. This will be part of his myth.

When I first met GG Allin in March of 1980, he and the Jabbers {his first well-known band} had just played a couple of sets in the bar of the hotel in which GG & the band were staying. They had played the previous night, as well. At least one of the rooms they occupied, the one in which everyone was hanging around between and now after the band’s sets, was covered in crude graffiti and drawings all over the walls – the work of the band, and of some of the small crowd hanging around with them. One young woman with some serious artistic talent, had drawn a life-sized nude woman on one wall, but other than that, it was all quite crude and rude, and very pervasive. The room was effectively trashed. This was all good fun, as long as they didn’t get caught at it, before checking out of the hotel, the following morning. There was no alcohol, no drugs in the room, nor in GG or the Jabbers’ system. My friend, who drove me there that night, had some acid, and he and I were doing that, but GG & the Jabbers were always straight when they played, and nobody had any bad habit at this point in time, nor any money. So, this was “pure GG”, un-drugged, sober, young and not yet well-known.

[Cont.’d from this point on 12/12/15:] Suddenly, we were informed that the manager of the venue and the hotel was on his way – in fact, now coming up the hallway, and about to arrive. There was a panicked moment of scurrying around, everyone’s eyes got big, in an “Oh, no!” terror. Nobody had expected that any “authority figure” would see the trashed room until after the perpetrators had left – yet here he was, The Man who ran the place. Believe me, GG was as seized with instant fear as anyone else. He didn’t want to get caught or have to be in a confrontational situation any more than did anyone else. Though it may be hard for some people to believe, GG Allin by natural temperament did not enjoy confrontation, personally. If he were hiding behind some sort of facade, or drugged-out fog, sure – if it was rather unavoidable, he’d do confrontation, and even brag about it later. However, it was not his thing, at all. He wouldn’t tell anyone anything they didn’t want to hear, as a rule. If someone tried out for his band, and he knew immediately that he didn’t want them, he would simply say, “Okay, we’ll be giving you a call,” or something to that effect, just so he wouldn’t have to be direct.

So, here came the manager, and it was clearly not what GG wanted, but it was an unavoidable situation. I was standing right next to him, and I saw an instant change occur in GG, as soon as he popped his head out the door and saw the manager headed our way. GG stepped back into the room for just a second, took a breath, and then stepped back into the hallway, to greet the manager. “Heyyyy,” he enthused, “How ya doing!” He put his arm around him, slapping him jovially on the back, and led him into the room as though showing him into his presidential palace, with a wide grin.

“What is this?” was the inevitable reaction from the manager, “Graffiti on the walls?!” He spoke in a heavy British accent, being a 40-yr.-old hippie type from England. He looked around in some horror, taking in the scene.

“Sure,” GG told him, “From now on, you can charge double for this room, ’cause we’ll be famous! Everybody’s gonna wanna stay here!” He was selling it already.

“I don’t know….” the man responded, looking now at me, trying to gauge whether to fall for this or not. I just looked back at him evenly, quite amazed myself at the unfolding scene.

Soon, the manager {I wish I remembered his name, but don’t} just let it go, and sat down, pulled out an ounce of weed, and started rolling joints. From there, the party really got started.

My point is this: GG Allin was a master at making the best of a bad situation. When something was going on that he would rather not deal with, he refused to let it get him down. Instead, he would act as though this was what he had chosen, himself. He wasn’t going to belly-ache about anything, even if it was something he personally wished wasn’t there.

GG had a terrible problem with alcohol, cocaine and heroin. It certainly and obviously affected his behavior, and effectively ruined his life. He also had the worst case of self-destructiveness that most of us have ever seen or heard about. These were not attributes – they were problems. They were his “demons” – not his qualities; not his gifts. They were what destroyed him, ruined his relationships, and made a shambles of his life. It was not his way to bemoan these facts; it was his way to act as though he didn’t care, and to even celebrate those very things which destroyed him. He would never let anyone see a sign of weakness in himself – even when that weakness may have been a huge, gaping chasm.

When I spoke with GG the last time on the telephone, September of 1992, he had recently gotten out of jail {again}, and was telling me that his most recent concerts had been sheer chaos, “as bad as” they had been a few years earlier. He said this was because he had been drinking two fifths of whiskey a day, and shooting cocaine as well. {He didn’t mention heroin.} He was telling me that he had been out of control, to a degree that he did not enjoy or want to go back to. He heaved a big, heavy, extremely weary sigh, that actually said more than his words could. He was not enjoying how fucked up he was.

     I say all that, to say this: GG Allin was not a person to emulate or even celebrate, regarding how messed up he was. He was – to those very few who truly cared about this person – a sad, pathetic figure. He wasn’t the way he was because that’s how he wanted to be; he was the way he was because he couldn’t help being the way he was, and he made the best of what he was stuck with. If you don’t get completely screwed up on drugs and self-destructive behavior, you would be someone that GG Allin would basically admire. He didn’t do what he did because he thought that was the desirable thing to do. He did it because for him, it was absolutely unavoidable. He did say more than once, that what he did was not what he would recommend for anyone else. He is not someone to be envied, idolized or admired. Those who really loved him see his life as a very sad tragedy.